The end of 2010 left me feeling unknown. I felt like I didn't know what the future held for us, if a baby was in our cards, if E and I really were ready to take on the possibility of long, never ending fertility treatments. I was feeling very let down and just had no idea what was going to happen. Dealing with family deaths seemed easy compared to not knowing if you would ever become a Mom. I wasn't sure if this was something I could handle.
When 2011 hit, it seemed like something blew over me that said "get over it! Life WILL get better, you WILL have a baby, you CAN'T give up!" I didn't. I found a new dr who was AMAZING and we will be forever grateful for giving us our special gift. Lucas is amazing. Edgar was amazing throughout our whole journey and I think feeling positive throughout everything really helped us conceive. Seeing those 2 lines on the pregnancy tests just seemed like yesterday. I will never forget how I felt that day or the look on E's sleepy face when I ran to wake him up. It brings tears to my eyes and a big smile on my face. Who knows if we will ever get to experience it again but we are going to try.
I got to spend great time with family throughout this year. Saw friends and even made a few trips. Going to CT and hanging out with friends was awesome. Ice Skating in the snow at a casino was outstanding. Seeing our cousins get married in California and spending 10 days sight seeing and visiting the Kardashians store "Dash" was something I will continue to remember. Hearing the ultrasound technician tell us "its a boy!" even though I was expecting a girl but deep in my heart I know he was a he. :) Watching my niece graduate high school and go off to college was the greatest family moment of the year. We were all super proud of her. Being induced at 38 weeks was quite the experience and even though it ended in a c-section there is nothing I would change about it all. I had a wonderful recovery and Lucas is everything I could have ever asked for. He is truly an angel and we are really blessed.
I know 2011 was probably one of the best years E and I have had together and I hope 2012 tops it. I wish great health and fortune for our family. I wish we are able to save our money and get into our own house by the end of the year. I wish Lucas continues to grow and stay healthy and we enjoy watching him along the way. I'm not ready for my Baby to grow up but I know its inevitable. There are amazing things coming our way, I just know it. With that, I'll leave you with a picture of my little 3 week old man. He's precious.
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